


once the wildflowers grow again

by ayselz



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M, Other, Self-Indulgent, but guess what, it's still pighati, no fluff just pighati 2020, sorry jul for butchering your soulmate AU uwu, this now has a second chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayselz/pseuds/ayselz
Summary: Sofija Vijolite's many lives are punctuated by flowers and one person she knows she cannot have.
Relationships: Mentioned 2P!Latvia/Nyo!Belarus, One-sided Riga!OC/Pampanga!OC
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	1. no choice but to endure

Sofija Vijolite’s first life was uneventful, simple, and routinary. Her days were mostly spent working in the summer manor’s adjacent, large greenhouse, coaxing herbs and flowers to bloom. Sometimes her brothers accompanied her to provide music, sometimes her sisters provided lively chatter. But, most of the time, she was alone.

Between Rebeka Ariadne’s yellow acacias and Raina Lucija’s chili plants was a dried fountain made of stone. It was Sofija’s spot, and when she was done with gardening chores, she would head there to read until nightfall. Most of the time, she was alone, with only the soft rustling of leaves and faraway birdsong to keep her company.

That was the usual—most of the time, she was alone.

“What are you doing here?” She might have sounded apprehensive, skittish, but that was a natural reaction to someone invading one’s personal sanctuary. Never mind if it was a best friend for nearly a decade now, who had spent the last few months in a college seven countries away.

“Didn’t you miss me, though?” Eliseo waved at her and seeing a single, dark mark on his wrist made Sofija stop on her tracks.

“You’ve had your dream already?”

He looked confused at first, then it was as if a lightbulb popped off in his head. Glancing at his wrist, he said, “Yeah,” in a clipped tone.

Sofija waited for him to elaborate, but Eliseo didn’t. Instead, he gestured at the book she was holding, before beaming brightly. “Tell me about your book first!”

With a surprised burst of laughter, Sofija acquiesced. She joined him by the fountain and got so lost in telling her stories, she completely forgot about the mark on his wrist.

* * *

Sofija Vijolite’s second life was full of her favorite thing—books. Her family sent her and her siblings away to an exclusive, affluent academy a thousand miles away from home, and her days were mostly spent lounging by the lake nearby, amid a patch of sorrel blooms, a book on her lap and the gentle lapping of waves ringing in her ears.

Winter breaks were usually spent within the academy dorm’s thick walls, but no weather could stop Sofija from hanging out at her favorite spot. Too many students within a confined space meant inevitable noise, which would lead to distraction. She preferred to enter imaginary worlds without getting distracted every other minute or so, thank you very much.

Days got colder as Yuletide crept closer. The wildflowers have long since wilted, but she would always know where to wait for them once spring arrived. Her book was a new one, gifted to her by one of the boys in her class, Eliseo, and it was about the science of soulmates and how their love transcended through time.

The book said that soulmates were identified through dreams, in which a person “sees” a previous lifetime they have shared with their soulmate, and when they woke up, a mark would appear on their body. The locations of the marks varied, but most of the time they would appear on a person’s wrist.

“Near the pulse,” Sofija muttered to herself as she made herself comfortable on the grass. They were yet to experience the first snow day this year, so it was still easy for her to sit on the ground without a blanket.

Inwardly, Sofija wondered if she would need to retreat to warmer, drier quarters once it began snowing.

“Thoughts for another day,” she said out loud and cracked her book open. It was fascinating to read the myth and the many theories surrounding it, as well as the statements of those who tried to divulge the science behind the phenomenon. She chuckled to herself; the idea of having someone—just a single someone—with whom one would fall in love across different lives was both cheesy and silly, yet a tiny part of her wanted it as well.

(Her brother Raimonds always claimed that he had already found his soulmate, brandishing the mark on his wrist for everyone to see, but Sofija refused to believe that her spiteful brother’s other half was an even more spiteful Russian man a few years his senior.)

“You’re enjoying the book I got you, I see.” There was only one smug voice which could make her heart soar and concurrently sour her mood. Sofija berated herself for not having noticed Eliseo’s approach, but it was short-lived as she had to focus on keeping still when he took a seat beside her. “Aren’t you cold out here?” he asked.

Sofija closed her book. “No,” she replied confidently, inclining her head to meet his gaze. “I was doing perfectly fine until you arrived.”

He raised both of his eyebrows at her, seemingly in amused disbelief. “Have you read the part about soulmate marks? I’ve always found that cool.”

“Yes, I was just about to begin reading the compiled stories of those who have found their soulmates.” Sofija was about to open the book again to show him the page she was on when he snatched it from her. “Hey!”

“Wait,” Eliseo said, laughing softly. He flipped the pages to an earmarked page—how Sofija missed that all this time was a mystery to her—and motioned for her to look. “This one’s my favorite. It’s about a guy who claims that when he had his soulmate dream, he only heard her voice. That’s cool and weird at the same time, isn’t it? Usually, you see your soulmate’s face clearly, so you’ll be able to recognize them in real life.”

Sofija dropped her gaze. On Eliseo’s wrist were two straight lines which seemed like tally marks, as she would have expected.

“I didn’t know that it was possible to have dreams like that,” she replied finally, once the silence has gone on for too long.

“Yeah, that’s why it’s my favorite,” he agreed. Then, he perked up, dark brown eyes shining as if it held multiple universes in them, and Sofija had to shake her head a bit to regain her focus on his words. “Why don’t you tell me about your dreams?”

Sofija blinked in surprise. 

It began snowing. Slowly, flakes dropped from the sky; some were caught in Eliseo’s dark hair.

“I’ll tell you in spring, once the wildflowers grow again.”

* * *

Sofija Vijolite’s third life was grand, royal, full of cavernous dance halls and long banquet tables. Her brother Raimonds was the King of Clubs, and as his royal advisor, her days were mostly spent poring over papers containing legal and trade agreements, as well as having long meetings with representatives from other kingdoms.

Today, however, was a very peculiar and festive day. It was Raimonds’ marriage to his soulmate, the future Queen of Clubs.

(Sofija was quite skeptical when Raimonds first announced it, marrying a common noble from the kingdom of Diamonds, but when she saw Nikolai for the first time, all her doubts vanished.)

So, instead of managing affairs involving taxes, imports, and exports, Sofija was overseeing the arrangement of flowers in the wedding hall. The motif of the kingdom of Diamonds was a bright, cheerful yellow, and it was rare to see yellow flowers adorning any space owned by the kingdom of Clubs. It made her head hurt, but since her brother wanted to show his dedication to his future Queen by using his colors instead of the Clubs’ royal green, Sofija had no choice but to endure.

“I think this should be enough.” Sofija flashed the butlers and maids a weary smile, which they returned. “You should prepare for the ceremony now. I can handle the rest of this myself.”

There was a chorus of gratitude which nearly made her wince due to its volume, but a few moments later Sofija was left alone. Various types of flowers in many shades of yellow adorned the hall artfully, and there she stood in the middle of the red carpet leading to the dais on which her brother would be wed to the love of his life. The thought of it made her shiver—Raimonds finding his other half and getting to spend the rest of his life with them.

She bristled when someone else’s voice rang across the hall. “Oops, wrong hall.” Sofija turned around to see one of the guests walking toward her, holding a bouquet of white flowers which looked out of place.

When he got closer, Sofija felt her breath catch in her throat.

“You must be the King of Clubs’ sister, uh, the organizer—Sofija?” When she nodded in confirmation, a relieved smile grew on his face. “I’m Eliseo, younger brother of the King of Diamonds. She says that we should use these as well, but…” He trailed off, eyeing the flowers surrounding them.

“Raimonds doesn’t hold back when it comes to decorations,” she supplied with a chuckle, taking the bouquet from him. What she said seemed to put him at ease. “Angelica blooms will probably clash with the rest, so I’ll take these and store them somewhere else.”

“Oh, wait, where are my manners?” Rather bashfully, Eliseo held a hand toward her. Sofija’s gaze zeroed in on what she could see of his wrist, and she was strangely relieved and disappointed to see three straight lines on it. “It’s nice to meet you?”

She shook his outstretched hand firmly. “It’s nice to meet you too. I’ll see you around, hm?”

* * *

Sofija Vijolite’s fourth life was long, seemingly unending, and eventful. It had spanned for centuries, and she could not anymore pinpoint what it was she did most days. There were centuries bathed in blood and strife, moments of peace and prosperity, then there were showers of bullets and bomb explosions that left her ears ringing for days.

It was the one she had wanted to end right away, but the gods were either cruel or deaf, that they didn’t heed her prayer.

The world quietened, eventually, and she travelled across countries to look for someone—something. She met many people, too, which led her to more, newer places, experiencing what she had never imagined she could.

Sofija has lived a long, strange life. She was not surprised to find herself getting lost in one of Manila, Philippines’ busiest streets, just weaving in and out of flower shops to see what they have. Her brother Raivis had a meeting to attend in the city, and she had tagged along in case things got hectic and Raivis required a proxy.

There was a multitude of flower types and colors, so it was easy for Sofija to get lost in browsing through them.

“Miss Riga,” she heard faintly, but it was probably someone speaking the local language, so Sofija ignored it and instead took a bit too long scanning a display of forget-me-nots. “Miss Riga!” There it was again, clearer and more urgent.

Sofija turned around.

Pampanga looked like he had run across multiple lifetimes to see her in front of forget-me-nots, and the irony of it made Sofija laugh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you calling for me,” she said.

He raised a hand to run through his hair. The action exposed his wrist to her, and she saw what she was looking for: five straight lines. “I’ve looked all over the place for you,” he muttered, sounding breathless, nearly lost amid the hustle and bustle of the busy street.

Yet, Sofija heard him. “You found me, though. That’s what matters.”

* * *

Sofija Vijolite’s fifth life was fun, filled with love, and, strangely, the most mundane of all. She worked at a family-owned flower shop with her sisters Rebeka and Raina, and most of her days were spent on creating arrangements and preserving their displays. In quieter moments, Sofija would face a mirror, lift her long, brown hair, and count the tally marks on her right shoulder.

She has had the number memorized, of course, but she would always count it just in case it increased. Again.

“Four.” If the lore was correct, it meant that she already has dreamt of her soulmate four times and she would either meet them in person finally, or she would dream another time.

Sofija did not care much about whichever outcome it would be.

Hours later, when the sun had set and it was time to close shop, she approached the purple hyacinth display. There was a card she had slipped under the vase earlier, and she wanted to look at it a final time before throwing it out. Merely holding it again made her soul marks feel like they were burning.

The card was simple. White, printed on with words she pretended she couldn’t read, decorated with thin, gold curlicues.

Her phone rang suddenly, startling her out of her reverie. Without glancing at the caller ID, she put it against her ear. “Yes, this is Sofija?”

“‘Fija!” It was in that moment that Sofija realized she would recognize Eliseo’s voice anywhere, in any lifetime, without fail. “Did you guys at the flower shop receive it today?”

The words on the card seemed to mock her. “Yes,” she replied simply, and without thinking about it, she added, “Congratulations on your engagement. I’m happy you met your soulmate.”

* * *

When Sofija Vijolite woke up from her dream, she was not alone anymore. Lilies surrounded her while the World Tree towered over her. How she had fallen asleep in front of it was lost on her—was she that exhausted by her pilgrimage?

As she sat up and wiped the sleep off her eyes, though, glimpses of her dream flashed inside her mind. Five different lifetimes, flowers, and one person she was never meant to have.

“You’re awake.” The Guardian of the World Tree looked ageless, enrobed in wan and white fabric, his face devoid of any expression.

“I have five marks now, don’t I?” she whispered, though she already knew the answer. “I don’t understand. I dreamed of Eliseo through all of those lifetimes, but why was he not my soulmate?”

The Guardian looked up at the Tree, and for the first time, Sofija saw a trace of emotion on his expressionless face. “What parts of the lore do you know, young assassin?”

“There were two lovers whose love was so powerful, it crossed timelines and lifetimes.” Instinctively, she reached up to where her marks were and rubbed at them gently. “The myth was that they would find each other and fall in love, the way the gods had intended. It’s also said that the World Tree is the bridge to the realm of the gods, so coming here would answer any questions about your soulmate…”

“Which is why you’ve made the journey, didn’t you?” The Guardian looked down at her, now. He stepped toward her and held a hand out. “There’s an untold part of the tale, involving the unlucky souls on which the gods would never smile down. Do you want to hear it?”

Sofija wanted to run away from this place and try to seek out Eliseo in this lifetime. Even if it was in vain.

“I don’t think I…”

The Guardian withdrew his hand. “The one you’re seeking is not in this universe, and you know it.” She tried not to think of the five soul marks she had seen on Eliseo’s wrist when they were semi-immortal beings and shook her head. “That’s the curse granted to those gifted with the ability to remember everything.”

“It’s not a gift if it hurts this much,” she replied icily.

The Guardian seemed to not hear her. “Once upon a time, there were lovers whose love delighted the gods so much, they decided to grant the lovers a gift: to transcend time and space itself. However, there was someone else. A pining lover, hidden in the shadows and unspeaking of their affections.

“One of the gods thought that it would be fun to rope the other lover into the situation, by letting them cross lifetimes themselves and get their hearts broken every time. Worse, they even decided to let the lone lover remember everything.” The Guardian moved his robe and revealed his shoulder. There were two marks on it.

“Are you…?”

“Yes,” said the Guardian. “We are marked on the shoulder so it’s hidden from the rest of the world, yet we ache more deeply as we remember everything.”

Sofija was silent.

The lilies around her swayed gently.


	2. the only sound in the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this life, Sofija Vijolite wondered if the gods would finally spare her the compassion she deserved.

Sofija Vijolite woke up to someone shaking her violently. The dream she just had was starkly vivid in her head, and all she could feel was disorientation as well as a twinge of irritation at whoever it was who disturbed her sleep.

“What…?” she asked, confused. Raimonds was sitting in front of her with an intense stare, making her feel a little uncomfortable. “‘Monds, what’s up?”

“You’re oversleeping. Everyone else is already at the beach.” He raised his eyebrows at her. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Sofija puffed her cheeks out as she sat up on the bed. “The spirits won’t talk to me, ‘no. I just had a long dream, I think.”

“You think?” Sofija could almost see the gears turning in his head; his interest was piqued. “Do you remember how it went?”

_ Yes, and it was confusing _ , she wanted to say. “Barely, yes. It was full of visions from other lifetimes and universes?” Now, Raimonds rolled his eyes. His interest vanished as quickly as it came, making Sofija chuckle. “You were in it. Nikolai, too.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “What the fuck are you waiting for, then? Tell me everything you remember.”

“There was a universe in which you strongly insisted that Nikolai wasn’t your soulmate,” Sofija decided to say, as she figured that mentioning Viktor’s name would probably sour her brother’s mood. Yet it intrigued her, too, the dynamic of Raimonds and Nikolai’s relationship in that particular lifetime. “And one in which you two stayed together for a very, very long time.”

Raimonds seemed to not buy it, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. He might not buy Sofija’s otherworldly visions all the time, but Nikolai would always be a dealbreaker.

“You liked what I said,” said Sofija confidently.

“Just the second part,” Raimonds mumbled in reply.

After a few moments of silence, in which she figured that Raimonds was already content with what she just said, Sofija pulled the edge of her blanket upward. “If you don’t have other questions, I’m going back to sleep.” She wanted to try and see if her dream would continue—if there would be a different universe in which she finally had someone she could call her own.

Raimonds’ ghost of a smile vanished in an instant. “You’re not going back to sleep. Not on my damn watch.”

Sofija wanted to retaliate, and even possibly try to shut Raimonds up by smacking him on his stupid face, but it was prevented when someone suddenly knocked on the door.

“‘Fija? Is ‘Fija here?” Eli’s voice was muffled by the door, but to Sofija it was crystal clear. Ignoring the teasing grin on Raimonds’ face—she would likely kick him out of the room tonight—she threw the blanket off herself and rushed toward the door.

“Yeah, I’m here,” she replied loudly as she pulled the door open. Her annoyance at Raimonds waking her up and stopping her from going back to sleep was instantly gone when she saw the grin on Eli’s face. “Hi, Eli. What’s up?”

“I’m filming a vlog. Come with me!” He held out a hand toward her, and out of curiosity, Sofija glanced down on his wrist before taking it. Zero marks. For some reason, she felt relieved. It was as if there was no pre-written story for her and Eliseo for the first time, and she could hope for something.

Sofija could only nod in reply, and she could swear that she heard Raimonds’ snicker as she closed the door behind her. Eliseo took her by the wrist and brought her out to the beach area, where the rest of the people were hanging out.

She could faintly hear Chesa calling out—teasing?—her and Eli, as well as the laughter from their other friends. Dae was chasing Mitsuki with a crab, Raina was telling a rather animated story to Julian and Rebeka, Emi was in a little circle with Raivis, Kyllikki, Danik, and Seija. Sofija wanted to see what the others were doing, too, but Eli was walking too quickly.

“Where are we going?” she finally asked, once they have put a considerable distance between them and the larger group. They stood near the water, and Sofija could hear the gentle lapping of the waves onto the shore as if it was the only sound in the world. That, and her erratic heartbeat.

She missed the warmth of Eli’s hand when he let her go. “Here!” he motioned to where a tripod stood on the sand, a camera balanced on top of it. “You’ll look after the camera as I’m vlogging.”

“You literally have a tripod, Eli. You don’t need me here.”

“But I do! I need you.” Sofija ignored the way her heart jumped at that. “Please, ‘Fija?” She never thought that someone aside from Raivis would ever pull the puppy eyes maneuver on her, but she was proven wrong right then and there. And, as someone who has no immunity against cute things—or persons—she gave in.

As she walked to take her spot behind the tripod, though, something caught her eye.

There was a slab of rock not far away from where she and Eli were, and someone was sitting on it. The blazing sun made the red in his hair seem brighter, and even though the roots were already awkwardly showing, something in Sofija told her that it suited him in a rather dorky, adorable way.

“‘Fija?”

A vision, a faraway dream, made itself clear in Sofija’s head. Nanoq Eeqina, across different lifetimes, devoid of marks and always finding Sofija when she felt the most alone. The gods were so, so cruel, she thought to herself as she studied Naqi from her spot. He looked so familiar, from accrued years and lives of being together, yet he was a stranger to her in this one.

Finally, she looked back to Eliseo. There was confusion on his face that she didn’t want to answer, so Sofija just shrugged and pretended to glance down at the camera. “I got distracted. You can begin now.”

Sofija Vijolite’s seventh—whatever, she wouldn’t bother counting from now on, as Fates were cruel to her in whichever life she lived—life was not bound by any tragic myth or ugly soul marks, yet she still felt unfree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry...


	3. as no one disturbed the sorrel blooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few lifetimes ago, Sofija Vijolite rose and fell along with the seasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fin. i can't write this anymore. HAHAHAHA.

Spring had come and gone, a season filled with newly sprung flowers and not-so-discreet exchanges of alcohol within the campus grounds. Sofija had wasted the season away by indulging in forbidden cocktails and falling asleep in the wildflower patch that served as her reading sanctuary. Classes were ditched, meetings with the  _ Amici Curiae  _ went by unattended.

Eliseo had looked for her, too, but when she drunkenly told him about her strange dreams once, he began avoiding her gaze and jumping out of the way whenever their paths crossed.

She understood, of course. She wouldn’t know what to do, too, if their roles were reversed.

The sun was unforgiving in the summer. Most of the members of the  _ Amici Curiae  _ retreated to the skylark summer house to pass the season, but Sofija declined to join them. She didn’t need the worried eyes of her siblings watching over her every move and the prying questions of the other members. Sofija had finally discovered the freedom alcohol brought to a person, and she would be damned if she let the others prevent her from succumbing to mind-numbing intoxication.

Sofija sobered when autumn came. As she watched the sorrel patch die out flower by flower, she thought of herself and the bottles she smuggled to the place. “If the lore is correct, this is just my second life,” she had somberly whispered to herself one day. Wasting it away to a newfound addiction and days of sleep wouldn’t be productive.

So, in the following season, she returned all stolen bottles of the  _ Amici Curiae _ ’s signature drink back to their lavender-smelling office and cracked her books open again. Her siblings watched her with wary eyes, and Sofija admitted that sometimes she wished the water she drank tasted bitter instead, but by the time spring came again and sorrel flowers began clawing their way out of the ground, she was more stable, more in control again.

On one fine spring day in her third year at the prestigious academy, she woke up to someone else sitting in her sanctuary. “You’re always sleeping here,” he said nonchalantly, reaching out to pick a sorrel bloom.

Sofija’s first instinct was to lash out in anger, as no one disturbed the sorrel blooms without facing its consequences, but there was a strange stirring within her that propelled her to react in a more civil manner this time. She sat up and glared at the intruder.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” she replied, but she was intrigued with his observation. “Do you always watch over sleeping people like a creep?”

He snorted in laughter, and the sound of it seemed to dredge up hidden memories within Sofija’s mind—of a short life and an even shorter time spent with—   
  


“Naqi,” Sofija said in a hushed tone. He glanced at her sideways, his lips slowly curling into an endearing little smile.

“I was worried you wouldn’t remember, Vijo.” He extended a hand toward her, his wrist as markless as it was a lifetime ago. “It’s nice to meet you again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here are flower meanings:
> 
> 1\. Yellow acacia - signifies the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love.  
> 2\. Sorrel blooms (a type of wildflower) - affection.  
> 3\. Angelica blooms - are given to those with a heavy workload.  
> 4\. Forget-me-not - signify authentic love brimming with memories.  
> 5\. Purple hyacinth - regret.  
> 6\. Lilies - soulmates.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Blank.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28091616) by [cly_smp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cly_smp/pseuds/cly_smp)




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